CHURCH OF NI
Welcome to the
Church Of Ni.
Welcome to the Church Of Ni, the official web page of The Knights Who Say Ni. Here you will find a compilation of offbeat philosophies that govern our lives, as well as some information that may give you insight into the insanity inherant to all those who were forced to grow up during the apocalyptic times known as the Reagan Administation. Some fight this insanity, some ignore it, often saying: "there must be something in the water". This page is dedicated to those of us who revel in it. As you read on you will no doubt notice the increasing trend of this page towards the glorification of the brittish comedy troup, Monty Python's Flying Circus. This is due to the fact that: A. the group responcible for the construction of this page is named after a creation of Monty Python's Flying Circus, and B. we believe that Monty Python is the greatest creation of the brittish culture, ie the best thing since the advent of the "chip"! So without any further delays, allow me to present you with a brief description of those of us that comprise The Knights Who Say Ni.
We'll start off with an introduction to the "inner circle" of the knights:
Nispam: The Old Indian Chief Who Smoked Too Much Tobacco
Spamni: The Almighty One; He Who Weilds The Bolts Of Ni
Uggnott: The Warrior Who Falls Over
Goosenargh: The Smoke Goddess
The epic tale of how this page came to be:
(ok, so it's not really epic...but it sounds cool, SOSUMI!)
I (the author) was sitting at my local library one day
with a very good friend of mine and we started to say some
really crazy things....they became a large series of local
catchphrases. Others liked our particuliar brand of modern
insanity and so we formed a small and exlusive group at
the backbone of social events for a specific crossection of
"Generation X". This group came to be knnown as
"The Knights Who Say Ni"!(INSERT DRAMATIC MUSIC HERE)
So many people got a serious laugh out of much of what we said,
so we decided that a web page could help spread humor around
to those who needed it!.......your welcome! (EGO-TRIP NOT INCLUDED)
THE DEVINE WORDS These are words used by "The Knights Who Say Ni":
Ni-(exl) [`nee]
1. A word first said by cast members
of the movie: MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL.
2. *A word used for expressing exitement for a specific/current
idea, situation, or philosophy that we agree with or believe to be
noteworthy.
Spam (exl.) [sp`am]
1. A combination of meats produced by Hormel inc.
2. *A word that conveys to anyone familiar with the Knights'
linguistics that the item/situation to which the
word was designated is either exeedingly good, OR bad depending
on the context in which it was used.
Aura Of Spam (n) [`ora uv sp`am]
1. The transparent/yellow gellatin-like
substance found on the actual spam, once removed from the container.
2. *The general mood of a particular situation or occurance which has
been unanomously decided to be either exeedingly pleasant or unpleasant
depending on the context in which it was used.
Loam (n) [low`am]
1. A form of sedimentary deposits commonly found between
different layers/types of rock or soil.
2. *Said when a particular item/situation is sufficiently unpleasant
as to make "Aura Of Spam" no longer aplicable/strong enough to convey
the full extent of ones feelings concerning the current item/situation.
Aura Of Loam (pn)[`ora uv low`am]
1. A word is most commonly used to describe the current situation as
being especialy unpleasant to the point of being thuroughly repugnant.
2. The watery liquid that is ejected forcfuly from the anus when an
individual is suffering from the symptoms of diahria, forming
a surface-bound layer of discoloration in the toilet-basin water table.
Often times there will also be pockets of air trapped by said layer, at
the time of contact/interface between the loam and the water contained in
the toilet this will form bubbles in the surface creating a multi-textured
substance.
*= The definition one could expect to recieve from a any
one of The Knights Who Say Ni, in the event that they
are called apon to define the word in question.
-NOTE-The asterix notation is not included in the definitions
of words unique to The Knights Who Say Ni.
I apologize for the exessive description in those definitions,
but you have to realize how vivid the images are for us, and so
demonstrating that we not only have far too much time on our hands,
but also no lives with which to spend that time.
Words and phrases that suck but we use them anyway:
Booch-(n) [bu`ch]
I don't know what booch means but with the proper accent it becomes
an acceptable alternative for bitch.
We use this word too much.
See also Sup.
Bogart-(v) [bo`gart]
To have, to take, to ask for,
actually means to steal....but we never use it that way; in short
merely a word that some of us use waaaay to much.
Represent-(v)
[if you don't know this one....naughty, naughty, booch!]
As in to represent a particular item, thought, or philosophy.
Eg: I represent that slug on the pavement, go get the salt!-booch-
Opinion: We represent too many things in our day-to-day life.
Sup-(exclamation) ['su`p]
A word often supplemented for the already slang
phrase: what's up? Countermeasure: simply reply, the sky, the celing,
or whatever else may be aplicable.
This word really gets on my nerves, dispite the fact that I myself use it.
See also Booch.
Our noble saviors!
Well, fellow maniacs...this is all I have done for now, but I shall be back to make more improvments soon, so PLEASE check back soon! ~Ciao~
